Loving Too Much

    Growing up in a Chinese household I noticed at a young age that we don't show affection like many other cultures. Only recently has this started to change. Now, you have to understand I was never taught that we shouldn't show love or affection. Honestly, it was something we simply didn't speak about. The type of affection I knew was my family asking if I had eaten or if I was warm enough. 

    While I did grow in the Asian community I also associated myself with American society. I realized there that the expectations of relationships and love were different. Relationships with a significant other between the two communities seem similar but also have major differences. Seeing both communities showing love, I made a personal note to myself: make it known that whomever I was with knew I loved them.

    Loving someone has always been difficult for me but when I did love, I loved that person with all of my well being. I didn't want him to go one day thinking I didn't care for him in any way.  Being in a relationship like this is still difficult for me to this day. Not to mention, I had my heart broken because they didn't love me as I loved them. So, this one is dedicated to those who love too much.

To my dearests,

    nothing is wrong with you. You did nothing wrong. Your investment in the person you want shouldn't hurt but it does. They say it's supposed to hurt because you when you love someone, you want the very best possible for him or her, even without you. While you're with them every day you wake up to a great, warm sun and every night you fall asleep to beautiful stars surrounding a bright moon. But without them, realizing how much love and time you've invested in them, all these wonderful things will change.

    It hurts now but, things will get better. It may seem cliche to say but it will. And yes, I still cry every time he's brought up. Thinking about him hurts but it was for the best. I'm glad actually. I'm happy that he was able to experience my kind of love. I hope he enjoyed it and will remember what it feels like to be loved when he is feeling unloved.

    Dearest, keep loving. You are built to love. You're one of a kind and loving too much isn't an issue. It will never be an issue so keep doing it. You will find your one whether it's yourself, food, or even hobbies that you can indulge yourself into. You will be loved just as you have loved others. You are an incredible human being for loving too much.


And to you,

    I wrote "olive juice" on your windshield. I had known for a very long time but was too afraid to tell you because I knew how you felt already. But, I hope someday you will love someone just as much as I have loved you, maybe even more.