At eighteen and freshly out of high school, you should feel on top of the world. Yet, here you are, completely overwhelmed with fear and anxiety. Moving away from home will be one of the most challenging things you could ever do. College should be fun and freeing, but these next few months will break you in ways that you didn't know were possible. Your anxiety will be worse than ever before, and you will sob like you are falling apart at the seams. It will be painful, no doubt about it, but you will be okay. Even if it does not feel like anything will ever feel okay again, I promise, it will be.
This semester away allowed you to grow, to change, to become strong. Now, just a year and a half later, I hardly recognize the young, naive girl who went to college that August. As much you wanted to love Binghamton and to fit in, it just wasn't going to work. Your mental health was in such a dire need of being properly addressed, and Binghamton simply wasn't the place to do it. I know you will struggle with the idea of transferring to a less prestigious school, feeling like your self worth is rooted in the school that you go to, but your mental health is so much more important than your pride.
Transferring schools is the best decision you can make, but do not regret your time at Binghamton, as you need to have the lows to appreciate the highs. Happiness will come, slowly but surely. Treat yourself with love and respect, and try not to be so overly critical of yourself. It really is okay to fail. Sometimes, everything just has to fall apart for better things to fall together. You’ll be okay.
I'm a firm believer in finding bliss in the little things: falling leaves, best friend dates, and making the perfect cup of coffee. There's little in this world, I believe, that can't be fixed by a Taylor Swift song. Typically, you can find me with my nose in a good book or in the kitchen, baking some recipe that I found on Pinterest. I'm a textbook case of an INFJ personality, dreaming of professionally helping others find happiness and providing unconditional support.